Yep, first post of the year and where the hell have I been?

Right here.

Believe it or not I have writtin something every day since November first.

Why has it taken so long to get to here?  It was not because of my last entry which had a bad title with misspelling and or the bad grammar which ever way you look at it.  It sucked!  I know it did.  That was a rough draft of the rough draft that was just thrown up there.  That is not how I want to do things in my life and especially here this year.  I have been wanting to write something here every day since the first of the year.  Not just anything, not something rough and just thrown here I wanted to write somethong you wanted to read and maybe even send me back a scathing comment or a good word or even some advise.  I did not beat myself up knowing YOU might have had a similar problem.  I’m sure what ever your problem you could have gotten out to shovel your own snow.  My wife can barely hold a pen in her hands and does all she can do just to shovel herself out enough to get her car onto the street so she go to work.  When I was young I was able to shovel and could even walk around in snow but now being 60 pounds over weight has set my limits.  This must apparently have made me a miserable person since my physically healthy children who live near by cannot mentally fathom I have a physical disabilty and that I’m too proud to ask for their help if their mother cannot.  This Winter I have become an introvert which would surprise those who really know me and it surpises me.  I have been trapped in my house by the snow and the lack of resources to have it removed.  If I had a metal shovel and an ice breaker it would be what Ineed to eventually get  into my van that is less than six feet from the bottom of my front stairs.  What is the big fear?  If I fall I have no way of knowing how long it would take to get me up or even if cars passing by my house would see me.  I always have a cell phone on me but have you ever called 911?

This is a story of my very last experience at Santarpio’s in Peabody back on Saturday October 2, 2010.

To say it was my worst experience anywhere, would be too much but it was my worse experience out of three visits to Santarpio’s.

This was my second visit in the Peabody pizza parlor.

I would have gone to the Peabody location for my first time around do to its easier access due to my physical limitations if they officially existed at the time.

My experience at the East Boston location was my best experience after not visiting there for 12 years.

I got severe craving to go there after seeing the brand new sign, on my way to Costco in Danvers.

I remembered the Santarpio’s name because it was the last place I saw my sister Shawn alive.

 
My sister was the best cook I knew, even though she was kind of like the Galloping Gourmet except she needed a little more alcohol content to stimulate her creativeness.

The point was, if you were going to eat out with her at a restaurant then you knew the food had to be great.

Who knew it was mostly low carbs and delicious?

I would be lying if I said my two first experiences at Santarpio’s were both superb but would be lying if I said my last experience on Saturday October 2, 2010 was superb.

I have no idea how much it cost to maintain a coffee machine but I’m sure there are plenty of folks like me who feel bloated from beer, soda and wine.

There are people who prefer coffee & tea.

After being in the East Boston establishment I knew there would be a few of things done differently in the Peabody parlor like taking Debit and Credit cards and making real drinks.

I was really taking a chance when I asked for a Long Island Ice Tea and should have just opted for water when my server seemed to be leery about the bar tenders ability to make my request.

I assumed when my waitress returned with a Long Island Ice Tea, instead of returning quickly so she could throw a beer in front of me, they must make them.

I saw that there were ice cubes in the drink but it was warm to the taste.

I was not going to suck it down and thought about sending it back, because I’m not a drink expert but this was no Long Island Ice Tea.

It sucked compared to what I had at the Newbridge Cafe’ in Chelsea.

On my last visit here I had beer, which is not my cup of tea.

Actually I prefer to drink alcohol in my home.

I thought if you served alcohol you must serve coffee.

My drink did look like an Ice Tea and believe me it was closer to a hot Tea in spite of all the ice cubes.

I think it might have had the right ingredients but was not shaken.  All I know after having a great Long Island Ice Tea you know when you get one that sucks.

I would have been better of with water.

The last time I was at the Peabody location they pushed me out of my seat because they were installing a TV where I was sitting for Keno.

This time around I was at the same table location from my last visit.

I sat with my back to the rail so I could stick my sticks behind me without tripping anyone.

I felt awkward were I was sitting but I do not plan on going back anyway any time real soon.

I milked my drink waiting for the food.

The drink didn’t taste too strong and I did not want to suck it down in case it was.

The Lamb & Sausage came out a quarter way through my drink.

Like the last time here the lamb was way undercooked, the sausage was overcooked looking like someone bit the end of it.

I knew what to do with the undercooked lamb from the last time I was here; had waitress take it back to finish cooking it.

I ate my hot overcooked or old sitting around sausage along with the bread and hot peppers.

My Garlic Sausage Pizza that I fully intended taking the rest of it home came out.

On my second slice of the pizza the undercooked  lamb came back with more peppers and more bread.

This is when I realized a fourth time could be a better or worse experience and a doubtful return.

If anyone ask I’ll tell them to go to the East Boston parlor for the best experience.

I did expect an as well or better experience than my last visit here but certainly did not see any value in a smaller burnt sausage possibly a leftover, extra fatty uncooked lamb and they don’t come close to the East Boston Santarpio’s with the pizza.

I rate the drink D+.

The Lamb & sausage combo D-/D-.

The pizza was minus some cheese but I do give it a B because it was delicious even later at home at room temperature.

Santarpio’s Pizza of East Boston according to NECN is #1 in New England but don’t take their word, take my mine “It’s Great!!!”

This past July I was taking my wife shopping up in Danvers to Costco’s.  After passing Wendy’s in Peabody just before the turn off to Route 128 I noticed a new sign over what use to be Bennigans Grill & Tavern that was now Santarpio’s.  Santarpio’s Pizza of Peabody

A couple of weeks later  I decided to take a drive up to Peabody to check it out.  It had been well over 12 years since I went to Santarpio’s in East Boston.  It was the last time I saw my sister who was a year older than me alive.  She was now living out in California and she wanted to eat something good before she got on her plane.

There were only a few vehicles in the parking lot when I pulled in.  The doors were open when I walked in.   Two women who looked like they worked there told me they were not opened and that they were waiting for the new ovens to be installed.

It looked like nearly everything was waiting to great new customers.

I was still hungry for some lamb & sausage so I decided to take a drive down memory lane after a quick check of Google Maps seeing it was practically down the street from a former apartment I use to live in on Bennington St. in Beachmont that went right down to Chelsea St. in East Boston.

I was welcomed by everyone who worked there making me feel right at home.

I got the combo which to me was pretty much an appetizer although it had great flavor.  I had to go for a pizza ordering a sausage and cheese.

I got a chance to take a walk through their kitchen  for which a guy like me is not an easy chore because we had to move or cars or the street cleaners would have had us towed.

I listened as customers came in and to my surprise most were first timers referred by airport employees as regular customers piled into their usual seats.

When my pizza finally came out it was loaded down with cheese it looked like shit but it tasted Great.

The ambiance was not what I expected in relation to the price and of what I remembered.

I went to Santarpio’s in Peabody the day after they opened on September 16, after finding out I lost 6 pounds on top of  losing 3 upon my previous doctor visit.

The new place is Great!

The ambiance matched the prices and there seemed to be more folk from or formally from East Boston of which I have an ear for.

I did, without any problems.

Now after listening to my mechanic’s subordinate’s litney of senarios of what could be keeping this light on…why couldn’t he take my van right in and show me what he had to do?

I brought it in then and had no where to go, way too far to walk home, so why not do it now?

There was no crowd of people breathing down his neck.

Then was told to leave it in the parking area after hours where my vehicle made #3 for the next day.

Is he going to do something unique I should or should not see?

What kind of magic will it take so the RMV will see what I assume is, that there is nothing wrong with my van except something has caused the fuel sensor to kick on the “Check Engine” light?

Bet it’s going to cost at least an arm, they might not want either leg so the arm will have to do.

So Technically even though everything is running well it is going to cost plenty for my Inspection Sticker.

If one were to read my Twitter page one would know that I pretty much do not want to intrude on anyone’s anything.

I like having followers and I understand what marketing is to me that is finding people who want to buy things.

I have nothing to sell, yet.

I have no real world freinds, know quite a few and have met many peolple in person that I saw online.

I also met in person folks that are recluse and should stay that way.

I cannot show people who I am inside but feel I am judged in many different ways from my outside apperence.

When I go down to the part of the beach where my mothers ashes were spread to meditate and breathe in the fresh ocean air I see people of all walks of life walking for their health.

I’m one of those folks not affraid to look others in the eye and know enough after some bad experiences not to look too long and will nod or verbalky say hi.

What is odd is that Nine out of Ten are too wrapped in fear or whatever to bother to nod or say high.

Are those the folks that would walk by if I were on the ground bleeding?

What has this got to do with the title of this post?

Do you think these people would say nothing if I were paying their rent?

I am ashamed at my behavior toward my sister at the end of my mother’s days not being good at being the oldest brother in my heart.

My values are different from both my younger siblings as I know it’s not all about money and status because without either, who are we?

My mother abandoned us as her children when we moved out of our home.

She helped  my family when there was nowhere else to go but it was for a price.

My mothers new family her true new family was …I cannot tell you because it is supposed to be Anonymous.

With my mother I felt no shame and was not used so where am I going to get back to the title and why?

It was the founder of NAMS that makes me ashamed?

Ashamed of what?

Of my self for not taking an action on my own!

NAMS just made me feel used, like a John.

Someone to pay the rent for the event, to get some swag, even brining some of my own to throw into the pot.

I’m standing there talking to the head of security of this famous hotel and the guy running the event walks by without any questions?

Obviously I am releasing anger and I am over everything, by getting ready to start over.

I would have left some links to the dinks but no advertising is what they deserve.

I hope to better serve you all in the future blog post.

Thanks for letting me vent.

This past Mother’s Day was a tearing of events as far as my commitment to my mother’s wish to have her ashes distributed into the surf of Revere Beach and having my daughter’s boyfriend letting me know how they felt I was an asshole, all of which was fed from and related to alcohol.

Today is Wednesday and it was not a terrible physical journey to get to this keyboard as much as it was a mental hurdle.

Most of my getting here is mental.

I think about how hard it is to get here and as you can see almost never arrive.

When my mother couldn’t get somewhere it was because her oxygen level was low.

When I have a tough day it is because they did not put a scheduled movie on Comcast then they tell me it will take 48 hours to put it there but if I spoke Spanish I could see it now, I have it at my command for 2 days but my Spanish sucks for this mistake of not seeing beyond the title.

The last time I was on here they took my mother into the hospital as I tried to make my first dollar online in a contest they had at NAMS3.

I was in Atlanta helping to pay the rent for NAMS 3 after driving 1100 miles.

I had a nights rest but had a sucky attitude for this event.

Then on Saturday after a day of listening to stuff I already knew I learned my mother went into the hospital and looking down from the phone noticed my ipod was stolen.

My stolen ipod took my mind off of my mother’s visit to the hospital.  She was just there at Thanksgiving and was leg pressing 225 Lbs. just 2 weeks prior to this phone call.

Not knowing how serious her visit was at this time I rested a day before heading to the hospital after my long drive.

When I saw my mother I knew the end of her road was in sight.

I stayed by her side for 14 days.

More days than I visited her in the past Five years.

She was gone on February 17, 2010.

Like when one of those folks who pass by your blog online but give you comments when you meet them in person.

To me what I did could have got me in some deep shit with the FTC whoever they are because I did not have a clear understanding of what I was doing but feel I was more than protected by the great folks atNAMS3 .

I have some serious stuff going on in my life right now which has something to do with my mother being rushed  to the hospital last Friday while at NAMS3.

You know I’m old, just imagine how old my mother is.

Before I saw her in the hospital when I got back I never pictured her to look her age as she did.

My brother and my wife have been at her side everyday while I was at NAMS.

My sister does not know her mother; stating this when she realized my mother moved in close by.

My sister thought it would be too much of a strain to check in on her own 77 year old mother who lived a few country blocks away.

Of course that was my mothers fault for looking younger than 77.

I watch movies like SAW but I’m more in awe of people in real life.

Like people who walk right by an assault at the “T” not wanting to get involved.

But your own mother?

My mother’s condition might not have got to this point if she had a daughter.

You might think I did this to make some one feel guilty but they are incapable of such feelings.

I have to get up every day doing more than most do just to get dressed but less as far working both of which have their limit.

I have been given a lot of credit for doing things but others can’t see why.

I was under the impression that people were under the impression that I’m not a positive type a guy but they’re wrong.

I could say you should not got to this link for me but for them but it would have to be up to you if you want what is there.

Can you tell I’m kind of cooked from this weekend?

NAMS3

Security says I left the door open and nobody but trusted employees showed up on the video from the camera right outside my room.

I never had trust issues at the Crowne Plaza here in Atlanta now I cannot wait to get out of here.

I know I shut the door as I checked my pocket for the card to get back in the room.

But check this out THIS WAS A VIDEO PRODUCT MADE ON THE SPOT PLLEASE BUY IT IF YOU LIKE IT

I had a hell of a time getting this link up on this page then it happened, I finally asked for directions.

Us men are like that, yes we are.

Can you decide which one knows their stuff or are they all full of stuff?

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