What Are You Looking At?

If it sounds like I have a complex or I am complex I might be.

Yep, first post of the year and where the hell have I been?

Right here.

Believe it or not I have writtin something every day since November first.

Why has it taken so long to get to here?  It was not because of my last entry which had a bad title with misspelling and or the bad grammar which ever way you look at it.  It sucked!  I know it did.  That was a rough draft of the rough draft that was just thrown up there.  That is not how I want to do things in my life and especially here this year.  I have been wanting to write something here every day since the first of the year.  Not just anything, not something rough and just thrown here I wanted to write somethong you wanted to read and maybe even send me back a scathing comment or a good word or even some advise.  I did not beat myself up knowing YOU might have had a similar problem.  I’m sure what ever your problem you could have gotten out to shovel your own snow.  My wife can barely hold a pen in her hands and does all she can do just to shovel herself out enough to get her car onto the street so she go to work.  When I was young I was able to shovel and could even walk around in snow but now being 60 pounds over weight has set my limits.  This must apparently have made me a miserable person since my physically healthy children who live near by cannot mentally fathom I have a physical disabilty and that I’m too proud to ask for their help if their mother cannot.  This Winter I have become an introvert which would surprise those who really know me and it surpises me.  I have been trapped in my house by the snow and the lack of resources to have it removed.  If I had a metal shovel and an ice breaker it would be what Ineed to eventually get  into my van that is less than six feet from the bottom of my front stairs.  What is the big fear?  If I fall I have no way of knowing how long it would take to get me up or even if cars passing by my house would see me.  I always have a cell phone on me but have you ever called 911?


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